NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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