i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
