I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
