If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
