I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
