Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
