i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
