Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
