school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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