i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
