Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
