There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
