I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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