I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
