i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
