My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize