Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
