An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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