She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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