are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
