My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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