the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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