ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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