they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize