I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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