4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
