omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
