Me too!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
