I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
