I saw his package. It spoke to me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
