He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
