I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize