i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
