Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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