I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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