I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
