im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
