Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
