Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
