you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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