You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
