OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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