its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize