singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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