Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize