just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just found a bag of teeth...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
