I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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