Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize