I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
