You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
