I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
