I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I pour the whiskey from now on
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
