whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
