U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
