Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He kissed a someone with a penis
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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