She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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