I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
