he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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