He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
