i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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