took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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