Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize