I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
