I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
