Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this just has baby written all over it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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