Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
