he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
