It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
