Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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