well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
