Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
