I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
